Seeing

 This was taken recently by me,  when I travelled to North East part of India. This is a snap, taken on river Bramhaputra in Assam state. Recently my wife has gifted me, a mirrorless camera. I am learning to take photographs  with this camera. Before starting the tour to North East part of India, I viewed few you tube videos, on how to use digital camera for taking pictures. One of the video, showed different settings and how to use them.  While showing the settings, the photographer in the video, was showing the display screen of the camera to demonstrate, how to achieve different settings. One thing that struck me was, there was no memory stick in the camera. 

He was taking pictures with different settings and showing them on the display for some time to explain the effect of differences between the settings. Suddenly it dawned on me that the camera is just taking pictures without storing any thing. It is not getting affected by the images previously taken as it is not storing it. J. Krishnamurty talks about seeing which is not conditioned by past , which is always fresh and present. Which does not judge the present on past accumulated knowledge. Can we do that?

Can we look at the surroundings, the experience we are going through , the sound we are hearing, without judging the same from our memories or conditioned mind. Then what you will see/ hear, will always be new, even if you are seeing it again and again. 

" The real voyage of discovery is not in seeking new places but in seeking with new eyes" Marcel Proust.

How can we have new eyes, which are not burdened by the experiences of the past , which don't interpret, what they are seeing now. In brief how can we uncodition our mind. What are hacks for that to remain in present and observe? Following paragraph from J. Krishnamurty, talks about this and may be helpful.

"That emptiness of the mind cannot be produced: the mind cannot be made empty, cannot be put together to be empty. That emptiness comes as a sunset comes of an evening, full of beauty, enchantment, and richness; that comes as naturally as the blossoming of a flower when there is no fear, when there are no escapes, when there is no boredom, and when there is no seeking. That is the most important of all – there must be no seeking. You cannot find; you cannot find the everlasting. That which is beyond time you cannot search out. It may come to you but you cannot go to it because your minds are too shallow, petty, empty, full of ambition, fears, ugliness, and distortion. Therefore, the mind must empty itself – not because it wants that, because when you want that, you have a motive, and the moment you have a motive, you have lost your energy. Therefore, it is only the mind that is completely empty that is in a state of inaction. That inaction is action. And it is only such a mind that is passionate; it is only such a mind that can live with beauty and not get used to beauty – the beauty of a tree, the beauty of a face, the beauty of an eye, of a smile, of the ugly, dirty road, the squalor, the poverty, it is only the passionate mind that can live with it and not get distorted. And it is only such a mind that is so completely empty that is in a state of meditation."

Tell me what you do, to have such empty mind or in other words remain present. Meditation of course helps as well as the  practice of mindfulness. 

I was on the deck of the river cruise, when I was taking this picture. Lot of people were around me, scrambling for taking pictures. But when I had put my eye to the view finder, I was completely focused on the scene and oblivious to the surroundings. I felt serene and contented. I was fully present there and I clicked. Probably I got the best result.

How it will be  to experience our life  like a camera without a memory stick? Some people will object to this saying that memories make life beautiful. Is it the memories or replay of the memories at this instant that we feel beautiful?

Tell me what you think? 

Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic Motivation.

When I publish my blog, I wait for the comments on it. How the writeup is seen by my readers. What are their reactions? What are the comments that are being made? What has touched readers the most?  So and so forth. So many questions arise in my mind. I am lucky to get lot of encouraging comments from readers across the globe.

Of late I started observing that I am elated to read the comments when I publish my blog. Rather I am eager to see the comments and respond to the readers. It is the communication with them that makes me happy.  Sometimes for first few days there are very few comments and I feel unhappy about it. I start feeling happy when comments start pouring in.

Are comments the only yardstick about worth of the blog? Should one judge the blog by the response or its intrinsic value? What is the intrinsic value of the blog? Am I writing for the comments that I get? Or is there anything else at play?

When I started writing my blog, the reason was to share with the world, what I have experienced and learnt. I am perfectly aware, that neither I am storehouse of knowledge nor I have experienced everything, that is to be experienced. Being introvert and self-reflecting person, I felt the need to share what I have. Slowly I am realizing, that I am looking at my blog from the perspective of reader response. Is it good or bad? I do not know.

External validation/ appreciation is built in our psyche. We grow on appreciation/ external validation. As a child when you take your first steps your parents are there to appreciate you. When you  first call out your mother or father they are elated and appreciate you. When you start going to school and start learning alphabets the kindergarten teacher appreciates you. At the same time if you do something which is not right you are reprimanded. Society conditions you in such a fashion that you look for appreciation/ external validation. You crave for that when you are in high school. You would like that the crush you have on that girl/ boy should appreciate you for your looks/ intelligence/ qualities. You are appreciated when you get excellent grades in school or college or when you perform best in sports. At every step/ milestone in, society conditions you, to seek more external validation / appreciation. When you complete college and start a job, the work place rewards you, for the job well performed, you get bonuses for excellent performance. All this is external validation of your efforts, skills / competencies. In plain terms this is referred to as external motivation. There is nothing bad in this. Only danger is that, you may become addict to external validation.

Can you do things for your intrinsic satisfaction without bothering about the external validation.? In the example, I gave above, I felt, I am giving more weightage to reader response, for my blog. I am driven by external factors.

Then what is intrinsic motivation? What you do, that does not require or you do not need external validation? How can you cultivate the intrinsic motivation? If you become dependent on external validation all the time, soon you may find yourself unhappy, doing things you may not want to do. The societal conditioning makes your ego grow? What about your soul?

I would like you, to reflect on the following, from the book “Awareness” by Father Anthony DeMello. It is instructive.

“Recall the kind of feeling you have when someone praises you, when you are approved, accepted, applauded and contrast that with the kind of feeling that arises within you when you look at the sunset or sun rise, or Nature in general or when you read a book or watch a movie that you thoroughly enjoy. Get taste of this feeling and contrast it with the first, namely, the one that was generated within you when you were praised.

Understand that the first type of feeling comes from self-glorification, self-promotion. It is a worldly feeling. The second comes from self-fulfillment, is a soul feeling. Here is another contrast: Recall the kind of feeling you have when you succeed, when you have made it, when you get to the top, when you win a game or bet or argument. And contrast it with the kind of feeling when you really enjoy the job you are doing, you are absorbed in the action you are currently engaged in. And once again notice that qualitative difference between the worldly feeling and the soul feeling.”

Reflect on this for a day, a week or a month, when you are performing various activities and find out for yourself, how many of those activities, invoke worldly feelings and how many soul feelings.

Tell me what you do for motivating yourself intrinsically. What is the way, to not to become addict to External motivation? Whether it is really possible to do so?