Don't Take
Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and
do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune
to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless
suffering
This is second agreement
from the book Four Agreements. What a sage advice? Can we not take anything personally?
This reminded me an
incident which is quite dated but still when I remember it, I feel it has
happened just now. I had purchased a new blue colored Sedan. I was driving it
to a resort with family. On the road I overtook a mini van carrying goods. On
my right there was a road divider, hence to avoid it I swerved my car slightly
left while overtaking. And I passed the van so close that I heard metal scratching
noise. I ignored it and reached my destination. When I got down and saw a big
scratch on the left door of my car. I was aghast. I felt very bad. The scratch
really gnawed at my heart. I felt pain
as if I myself has been bruised. And I was not able to enjoy the lunch at the
place. Now I realize that I took that
incident personally. Is it not?
One more thing I remember.
I had visited a new restaurant in the town. I liked the food, the ambience, the
service there so much that I decided to take my few friends there on a weekend.
We arrived there and were greeted warmly. We ordered food and had a leisurely
dinner while talking. While leaving I asked my friends – So how was it. The
reply was -it was good. Somehow, I felt the reply was not enthusiastic. On that
day I also felt the food was not up to the mark as I had expected. But the
remark made me feel bad. I felt hurt. Now I realize that I took that remark
personally. I had not made the food, nor had I served it. But still I felt a
pain in my heart.
I realized that I should
have got this advice earlier. Don’t take anything personally. We are so
invested and attached to the outcome that we take things personally. For our
own improvement it is sometimes necessary to take things personally. But not to
heart. We should be able to learn our lesson and move on.
The advice is simple but
seems very difficult to implement. How you can not take things personally. Our
whole conditioning is such that we always take things as to how those will
affect us? All our activities are strengthening our Ego and we become so accustomed
to it that we forget that there is any other way to live.
Don Miguel Ruiz has said that what others say
and do is a projection of their reality. A human being always lives in his
reality which he has created over his life. And that reality is made up of his
own thoughts, mental models, conditioning. So when someone says something or
does something we should not take it personally. How can we implant this
agreement in our mind and act accordingly? Are there any ways to behave in this
fashion?
I found a beautiful article
on internet on this. Please see link below.
https://daringtolivefully.com/stop-taking-things-personally
I think we should be able
to cultivate a witness mode of living. What is this? Try, if you can see what
is happening inside and outside of you, as a witness. See what you are doing ,
what thoughts are moving in your mind as a witness who is away from yourself. I
know this is pretty difficult. But even a 5% success will reveal how much life
is conditioned by me thoughts and that drives us to take things personally. Being
aware is the antidote to this me centeredness.
“Rather than being thoughts
and emotions be the awareness behind them.” Echkart Tolle.
Hello, I was waiting for post.This time there is a delay :) Thank You!!!
ReplyDelete@Dallas - Frank
Honestly, no one really cares so much. I myself was pretty much like you until I realised that people don't care as much as you want them to. Those who do, tell you bluntly how they feel. It hurts to know, I know..hurts your ego, but that's what it is. The day you accept this, you'll be in a much better place.
ReplyDelete@Shamion - Chicago
Be secure and proud of you so you won't care what people say/think. Thank You!!!
ReplyDelete@Oshito - Adlaid
Take a chill pill. Life is happiness . Enjoy the joy. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Nickol - Chicago
Stop sulking, start accepting. Yes you need not be bitten by the bug of perfection all the time.
ReplyDelete@Mehul - Mumbai
I take things personally as well. A psychologist gave me a good advice. Ask yourself would this person in the same situation would say the same things to someone else (like a co-worker for example) ? If the answer is yes than you will know it is not personal against you. Spread the love and joy automatically universe will give you all what you want and keep aside the wrong things. Thank you writer. LOVE to you.
ReplyDelete@ Dave Westfall - Copenhagen, Denmark
Chose your company wisely. Thank you for nice article.
ReplyDelete@Himesh - Mumbai
First of all let me thank you for your good writing. It's human nature to be sensitive, no matter how much you try you would always take things personal. Pretending that you didn't take it personal is fine as long as you are satisfied. just ignore the situation by giving it a quite laugh and pretend that you didn't take it personal and be civilized.
ReplyDelete@Diana Bishop - San Francisco
Why do we take things personally, and how do we stop? Its interesting…this is a big subject… Nice writing skill. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Henski - Melbourne
Really, stop caring so much about what people think about you. Listen to what they have to say and notice their actions but don't let them affect you so much, don't take them so seriously.Care the people who loves you and care you that's the life. Otherwise big confusion with sad effects. You are a good writer please keep going on. This is the way to find self also . Yea but dear friend nothing is enjoyable without care.
ReplyDelete@Nathan - Adelaide.
Hello Madhav your blog is awesome. I like it so much. All the best for future. Thank you!!!
ReplyDelete@Su Tang - Japan
Life doesn't need to be complicated . Love is still the answer. Thank you for such a nice blog you are writing. Thank you for reference. Ignore the bad persons and accept the well wisher.
ReplyDelete@Nancy - Adelaide
I agree with many of the comments/discussion points in this article and in overall blog post and their comments. A few other things I would add:
ReplyDeleteOne final thing. Nothing is perfect. And everything is perfect… in its imperfection ��
Thanks for the great tips.
@ Rob Wilcox - Madrid
Learn to differentiate between constructive feedback vs. criticism. Useful information blog. Thank You.
ReplyDeleteKevin Muldoon - Kuala Lumpur
Articles like this should just be taken on board, though they should be considered as a guide that helps you find your own style and rhythm. I read articles of your blog with completely different styles and enjoy reading both. Thank you Madhav.
ReplyDeleteElijah Lovkoff -@Barcelona
Throughout life, you've consciously or subconsciously learned to take certain things “personal;” however, one size doesn't fit all with personal affronts, they vary person to person, culture by culture. Respect the well wisher. Keep them like a diamond of your life. Very Nice blog written by you with ornaments of simplicity. Thanx.
ReplyDelete@Arenna - Perth
“It is pretty difficult to find real and it is much more difficult to find somebody who possesses great taste in addition to your life skills. If you add on top great response time and creativity, you get a company you definitely would like to keep living with. Thanks, looking forward to future posts!”
ReplyDelete@TINA VERANO - Australia
Great post and advice, Madhav! - @Sunita - Goa
ReplyDeleteThanks for your value sharing. Very informative blog. Keep going on , don't stop!!!!
ReplyDelete@Mahidhar - Banglore
Use different colors to represent hurt, fear, joy, peace, joy, sadness and map these out in places felt in your body. You may need to sit quietly to tune into these feelings and really feel what they feel like, look like. Nice blog.
ReplyDelete@Austin - Honolulu, Hawaii, USA
The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Not to worry about what others are sayings , yes but judge their comments if it is really helping to improve you then defiantly we need to listen and correct our self. Of course you should be unbiased and ego free. Wonderful blog.
ReplyDelete@Justin - Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia
As long as the ego runs your life we can not study criticism properly and because of this we are taking it personally. Fabulous writing.
ReplyDelete@Resin Aho - Frankfurt, Hesse
What's the point? Not like there isn't enough to deal with anyway. Now, I'm not saying stop caring about people, just stop caring so much about their opinion about you. Your as a writer intention is very good so you will get good. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHieu Luong - Japan
Really great article! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteDavid Adeleke
Thanks for posting this.comes naturally is the only solution which is bit difficult.
ReplyDelete@Aarohi - Banglore
This is really awesome and very helpful for me.Thank you so much for sharing such a great blog.
ReplyDelete@Rakhi - Mumbai
Nicely written article.
ReplyDeleteTom Nguyen - Adelaide
It depends on who is commenting, if it comes from your parents, teachers, bosses and close friends, even if it is criticism, it will be constructive and is meant for you to improvise in certain areas of your life. If it comes from people who are there to pull you down, you just need to ignore. So, you need to have the filter mechanism to take the nutrients and expel the waste.. Thank you for the nice blog Madhav!!
ReplyDelete@Paris, France
Not everything is about you, most of the time its about the situation or problem at hand, you are a part of it.Excellent blog. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Lara - California
Start dealing with and thinking about the situation and stuff at hand instead of all the worthless crap you make inside your head . Superb writing . Thanx.
ReplyDelete@Rema -Boston
Encourage yourself towards being curious for Self-knowledge. That will settle many issues in one go, before that we only adjust with problems or keep changing situations. Fears, loneliness, insecurity remain part and parcel of our life until we recognize our true Self. Wonderful blog. Thanx for sharing.
ReplyDelete@Serge Bays - Kisumu Kenya
Focus your energy on the things that matter instead. For eg- your health, your career, think about what book to read next, make someone smile, think of a lame joke to crack instead, go water the plants in your garden, look in the mirror and fall in love with yourself, pick up the phone and call a friend you lost on the way, learn how to say 'you are beautiful' in ten different languages, look at the morning sky and notice how beautiful and different it is everyday or think about what an adorable little thing yourself is! :)
ReplyDeleteNice blog Madhav!
@Nalva Souza - Washington
There are so many better and happier things to do in life. Nice post !
ReplyDelete@Diana Rebeiro - Michigan
Igonor is Bliss but not to your well wisher and the person who loves you so much on this earth. They never criticise you evenif there suffering killed them. Enjoyed a lot your writing flow Madhav. Thank you for happiness given through read. Love to you and best wishes.
ReplyDelete@Mendes C - Wisconsin
When you take something personal, you become self-focused and base your reaction on learned models of what's right or wrong, and what has been learned by you to be threat; however, this too is individualized and varies.Lovely sharing. Thank you !
ReplyDelete@Enzo Christopher - Indiana , USA
It’s very tough to practice it. In real life, it takes a hell of a lot of work. Most of the time when I see two strangers laughing while looking at me, I look at my shoes or rub my face.‘Is there anything wrong with my dress, shoes, or face, maybe?’As I said, it’s easier said than done.However, for such tough moments, it’s great to remind ourselves of what Don Ruiz says: “The whole world can gossip about you, and if you don’t take it personally you are immune.” WONDERFUL BLOG. Thank you writer .
ReplyDelete@Rienetta Nevillea - Colorado , USA
Whenever you are in a situation you think you're taking the things personally, you don't need to argue that person, but instead you should look inside yourself and try to know if it's about you.Wonderful efforts for blog.
ReplyDelete@Sandra Vila - Florida
That we've did something wrong, even if we didn't. You must've heard the story of that elephant who couldn't break from the shackles made up of weak rope, because from the childhood, he had been thinking that he couldn't break the rope, even if he's adult and able now to break, he don't try to break. Similar is the case. You're are encaged in your cognitive biases and inconfidences, which are deep engraved in your mind, which is causing us to take things personally. Break the shackle after this. Be Happy and take care of persons who loves you and that's why telling you what is good or not.
ReplyDelete@Sebastian -Ohio
My weakness was visible to everyone. So, I thought what if I overcome my weakness, I'll never have to worry about my weakness for my entire life. I made a list of all negative things that people used to think about me. It took me nearly one year of time to overcome these things. Throughout that year I was not involved in other's perspective but was involved in improving myself. I improved my communication skills, my personality and the best thing I learner was when to act and when to react. Excellent blog and sharing Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Meera - Hawaii ,USA
By growing a thicker skin. Knowing yourself. When you are confident in your own capabilities other people’s opinions become irrelevant.Keep courage to give wonderful post stories through your blog. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Campebell - Georgia
Taking things personally seems wonderful if it is about love. But seeming wonderful doesn’t mean it really is. I mean, when you take somebody’s love of you personally, you’d think of something like this: They love me because it is just me and it doesn’t matter what I do to them because they’ll keep loving me anyways.
ReplyDelete@Rony - New Jersey , USA
As you get older you will care less and less so don't worry. �� Nice blog.
ReplyDelete@Andrew - California
There are no good people or bad people in this world. Everyone is fluctuating between trying to good and bad, and trying to understand their own journey.What is even good or bad? That is based on your own perception. No one is perfect. Everyone is fighting their own battles and has their vices. Nice blog.
ReplyDelete@Shane -Texas
How you can not take things personally is by realizing that people hurt you when they are unhappy and hurting inside. It is not a reflection of who you are, but of who they are. When people are hurting, they bleed that pain onto others. Nice blog. Good morning India.
ReplyDelete@Nick - Chicago
You take things personally only if you have a low self concept or these things are coming from someone you care about.Excellent Blog. Have a Happy weekend. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Catherine - New York
We need to learn to be as fluid and yet as unmoved as the ocean. Nice collection of posts. Thank you !!!
ReplyDelete@Edvard - Florida
If someone is criticizing you - Just think about what he is saying there two possibilities whether is correct or wrong. If he is correct and if he is making sense in his argument then take his criticism and accept it with whole hearted. Then improve yourself instead of taking it personally.
ReplyDelete@Fedric - California
We live in a world where people aren’t always nice to one another. Where people use unkind and unloving words to talk to, and about, each other. I believe that there is always a better way to deal with negativity, and with those people who spread out these negative vibes. Don't take things too personally and just don't give a fuck. Enjoy your blog.
ReplyDelete@Paul catelado - Colambia
People just come into our lives and go. Some stay, some vanish. It’s all matter of perceptiveness and perception. Your blog is awesome and comments are also very informative , knowledgeable. Your blog readers have a high class what i realized. Madhav please permit me to ask you who is the promoter ? would like to give paid contract. Please help me if you don't mine. if not no issues on that. All the best for your future. You are nice person that's why as a result you are getting publicity widely. Great Bro !!
ReplyDelete@Justine Faux - from Hawaii, USA
I would say that part of your problem is on the issue of safety within a conversation. I read in a book called Crucial Conversations. Wonderful blog and stories you have written in various posts. Thank you!!!
ReplyDelete@Garrick Scott - California
Don't feel that every negative thing must be something that you must defend yourself from - feel that it is something that is to be learned from. Fabulous subject and read. Thank you !!!
ReplyDelete@SSusan - Washington
All have a free will, so use it to change your role. Sometimes being a fighter is good. Sometimes being a learner is good. But is always good to know when to be it. Excellent blog. Thank you!!!
ReplyDelete@Hawaii - Alen
“Personally” is nothing but a feeling, and if that feeling stems from your mistakes then it is your duty to correct it. Also, it depends on what is said. Don't spoil life by overthinking or overignorance both the stages are harmful for progress of life. As someone said in comments , keep regards for your well wisher and loved once so that you can analyze the correct action. God bless you my child. Love to you. All the best!!
ReplyDelete@Jan Deri - Alaska , USA
A fracture is a fracture, regardless of how small the injuring force was. Most fractures can be prevented with planning. Excellent post . Thank you !!!
ReplyDelete@Bora - Canberra
If I have to be my own referee, I make sure I call the play based on the rulebook, not on the resulting injury to myself. Nice blog.
ReplyDelete@Martha Can - Adelaide
When people disrespect you or do not treat you well, it is easy to take their behavior personally, to blame yourself and think you have anything to do with someone else's behavior. For me i am keeping aware to self for not to do the same thing with others which i am not expecting for self. So keep filtering self also . Wonderful read thank you.
ReplyDelete@Annie Lee - Argentina
I’m not a fan of the phrase, “It’s not personal, it’s business etc etc.” Sorry, but if someone treats you badly, it’s personal, whenever and wherever it happens to be. @Jack -Casablanca
ReplyDeleteOne of the reasons you may take things personally is because something negative is suddenly focused on you and (right or wrong) it’s challenging not to fixate on it. Rarely is there someone there in the moment to balance it out with a positive message. @Aayush Bohra - Kathmandu , Nepal
ReplyDeleteOne of the best ways to gain perspective is to help someone else achieve their goals. Open your ears. You’ll find needs everywhere. wonderful articles Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Morris - Darwin
Not everyone is the same, people with thicker skins sometimes don't know how to tread lightly. Helpful blog. Thank You Madhav.
ReplyDelete@Francis B - Amsterdam
Learn to step out of the problem and ask yourself, “if I were a fly on the wall how would I understand this situation?” As usual nice topic.
ReplyDelete@Aashish - Banglore
If someone criticizes you, just take the criticism and analyze whether there is any truth in it. The moment you realize that there is no truth in the criticism then discard the criticism. Thank you for the wonderful blog.
ReplyDelete@Allen- Honolulu, Hawaii, USA
Hello Coach I would like to ask you one question , whether it is implemented by you or whether it is possible to you apply in day to day life. Your efforts for the world is great. Blessings !!!
ReplyDelete@Tiffany Hanson - Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Its easier said than done. Sometimes thoughts and emotions carry a lot of weight and it is hard to detach yourself from them.Wonderful efforts by you. Thanx.
ReplyDelete@Smith -California
The concept is simple - we make it "not easy" with the baggage we bring, our conditioning, our labels, and our need to wallow in our thoughts and emotions and turn them into "my story." Enjoy life with love , laugh , care and respect. Ignore garbage . Nice blog.
ReplyDelete@Emma - Texas
Thoughts occur through you, like a radio transmitting a frequency signal. You are not the signal, but the receiver of the signal.All the best Madhav with love and smile.
ReplyDelete@Amelia Laura - New York
You cannot stop thoughts occurring any more than preventing vital body functions. Our aim should be to reduce the volume on thoughts by becoming the perceiver, thus identifying with them less. But do nt complicate life. Life is beautiful enjoy with self love and make others with full of love. You will find difference . Thank you for nice blog.
ReplyDelete@Jeffrey Feld - Pennsylvania
No matter how lost you sometimes get in thoughts of lack, worry and insecurity, who you really are is always the same… Peace, freedom, wisdom, clarity and love,” states Jamie Smart in Clarity.
ReplyDelete@Margaret Holder - Minnesota
The best way I have tried to deal with this is by being honest and telling someone on the face when it hurt me bad. Do not shout or cry. This gives most people an impression that they have the power.Wonderful reads .Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Andy - Indiana
Ask them out for a cup of coffee. Speak in a low, sensible voice with affection and maturity. Tell them that they have hurt you. Tell them why. Tell them you would be happy if they didn't do that anymore. Smile to show how happiness looks.Excellent blog read.
ReplyDelete@Ivan -Texas
"If you show someone the sun in your bones and they reject you you must remember, they hurt themselves this very same way."~ Nayyirah Waheed
ReplyDeleteThanx for referred wonderful blog and enjoyed writing skill.
@Kristina - Georgia
The most dominant characteristic of toxic people have in common is that they leave the people they interact with, whether that be family members, friends, work-colleagues, sometimes even complete strangers, romantic partners or acquaintances constantly doubting themselves. They are energy vampires who suck all positivity out of you, transform it into negative energy and return it to you.Good advisory .Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Janet - Colorado
Individuals with an inflated ego and who easily get offended may not be able to empathize with others and are often unable to sustain relationships. Wonderful blog. Useful information.
ReplyDeleteSandy G - @ Bay Area
Self-centered or selfishness usually has a needy quality to it and defensiveness and a desire for reassurances from objects and people, reinforcing one's importance and doesn't like self examination or critcism. It's childish.Keep it up the spirit . Thanx!
ReplyDelete@Louisa - California
A self-aware person is aware of their strengths and weaknesses. With full-knowledge of their weaknesses they should maintain their humility. Best wishes!
ReplyDelete@Dawn Lopez -Ocala , Florida
We're with ourselves 24/7. What we do in the privacy of our locked bedroom is something only we know, and to the fullest extent. Every possible thought to have entered your mind, every irrational thought, every positive thought, every possible thing you've ever fantasized about, the list goes on. Your writing simplicity is the beauty of blog.
ReplyDelete@Alex - Texas
There are many meanings to the term “self-centered”. The first is independent, sovereign, self-reliant, not easily influenced by others.
ReplyDeleteWonderful writer . Thank you.
@Roger Wellens - Nieuwerkerken
Loving yourself makes giving sustainable. Lovely blog. You are very true person . it's my analysis.
ReplyDelete@Benny - Boston
Self-awareness, which means they know their limitations and are less likely to harm themselves or others when they become frustrated or face a challenge. Ignore bad accept good. Thanx
ReplyDelete@Parker - California
People who are genuinely happy inside (as opposed to those who seek pleasurable distraction in an attempt to ignore their unhappiness) are never self-centered. They don’t NEED to be, and so they are able to learn the joy that comes from helping others … which makes then even happier. You have nice heart. I am greatful. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Benjamin
(Sorry by mistake i posted this comment below your earlier post )
1. Stop spending time with the wrong people 2. Stop running from your problems. 3. Stop lying to yourself 4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. 5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. I am following this. Nice blog writer .
ReplyDelete@Stuart - Kansas
People will do their best to push your buttons, piss you off, but you can frame it like this: opportunity vs offence. You can make one of them yours. You are awesome simplicity writer . Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Giselle - Maassachusetts
Instead of policing what you think and feel, focus on what you know and what you can do about the problem. You can control what you say and do. The emotions are automatic, and you can only cope with those by taking care of yourself, making wise choices, etc. Thank you Bro..
ReplyDelete@Kevin - California
Sometimes, all a person needs is to be reminded that it's okay to make mistakes, that criticisms of your work or actions are not judgments of your character, and that in the end, others' opinions of you do not define you. Wonderful writer thank you.
ReplyDelete@Jannicke Leknes - Norway
I like what Wayne Gretzky states "If you do not take the shot, you will never make a goal" I have come to realize success or failure occurs daily, and if others criticise, it is because they never want to take the risk. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Sarah - Connecticut ,US
My belief if is I do not care what other people think of me ,my family or friends, we all make mistakes, and as long as things were not done bad with scienter to hurt someone else, there is no such thing as criticism. Be happy with natural flow of life.Thank you coach. @Kelly -Ontario
ReplyDeleteI did not used to think this way. Comparing causes criticism, but we really do not have the other person's perspective or do they have ours, as it is as unique as a snowflake. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDelete@Taylor - Canada
can I learn from this feeling, is there anything I can do to improve, is the criticism justified ? Is it from a good source... we all live in a glass house... got to be careful of the rocks that are thrown...Wonderful writing skill.
ReplyDelete@Chick - Texas
Low self concept is nothing major to worry about so just keep in mind that life is too short to put oneself down.Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Steve Phillips -Illinois
Think about how awesome you are for attempting to understand why you are affected negatively by things people say.Wonderful blog on wonderful sunday.Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Harry -Adelaide
Hi writer I am convinced that when I take things personally, it is because of an insecurity or past hurt that I have. Next time take something personally, try to break down exactly why you got that "ouch!" feeling. Its probably something from our past, so go back to the first memory of someone saying something that affected you in the same way as the current situation. Nice read.
ReplyDelete@Henry - Amsterdam
If the person who criticized you matters to you, then seek from him the reason behind the criticism. If you analysis is right then he will realize his mistake but if your analysis is wrong then you will understand your mistake. However, if the person is not able to justify his criticism, it is his fault and hence just discard his criticism. Wov what a blog....enjoyed
ReplyDelete@Francis - London
The first thing that we must do is clean up all the blocked emotions and stress that you have —we all have— in our heart. Those are like ‘coloured glasses’ that tint everything we see and feel. They are, also, the way our mind controls us. Then, we fill our heart with our own love, own trust, and own appreciation. Similarly will feel for others who loves you. Thank you Madhav for wonderful blog.
ReplyDelete@ANNA - Australia
Hi Coach very important aspect you have written but we should be alert for our mistakes .We can ignore criticism not mistakes. You are wonderful writer. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Gerrie - Frankfurt
The best way to get over rejection and criticism in a logical manner is to firstly understand that rejection is part of life and get rejected all the time in ways we don't tend to take notice of. Awesome blog .
ReplyDelete@Alex-Toronto
If someone criticizes you or rejects you. It's nothing to worry about. Simply find people who will appreciate you for you. Not everyone will like us, which is fine.Wonderful attractive still simple writing of various posts . Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Cristiane Abdalla -Paris
I think you personalize them out of inner fear and if you were filled with love, you’d have no fear and wouldn’t personalize anything. All the best for your love life.Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Rose Barros -Sao Paulo , Brazil
Carl Jung stated the shadow/id inside of us is the unknown animal instinctive and irrational “dark side” of our personality which is prone to psychological projection. Jung wrote that if these projections remain hidden to us, they have the power to manipulate us. So we project out upon others: our inner weaknesses and our desire to not have those weaknesses exposed. These projections insulate and harm us by acting as a thickening curtain of illusion between us and the real world (like the Wizard behind the curtain in Oz).Nice !!!
ReplyDelete@Sarita Coelho - Brazil
Often, accepting that we are and have always been transcendently loved is the first step.wonderfully you have written all blog. It is love from you to world . Thank you !!!
ReplyDelete@Cellya - Brisbane
Make empathy with the situation and see yourself from a third eye objectively. Think that why that person for example shouting. Did you do something wrong ? or that person who shouting at you cant control himself. Which one is real ?
ReplyDeleteExcellent blog.
@Carlos -Spain
Excellently written about burning point for each one. Very difficult to implement . Thank you brilliant writer.
ReplyDelete@Gin - Chicago
Madhav everything is true. But , Self care is more about understanding your own psychology than it is shutting off your emotions and becoming numb. Thank you !
ReplyDelete@Rocky - Chicago
Because they are so insecure and have a low self-worth, they feel the need to put others down, so they can feel better about themselves and be seen as better by others. Many toxic people will go an extremely long way to reach this. An example of this would be if someone constantly belittles you and tries everything in their power to make you look bad. Do not care and live with caring people. Thank you for reference.
ReplyDelete@Beth - Boston
They are unwilling to take responsibility for their own actions.Wonderful blog in my library.
ReplyDeleteMike Allen - Chicago
Toxic people are often not aware of their toxicity and the pain they cause.No need to take personally.Excellent read.
ReplyDelete@Paul - California
You are just one of the whole human race. Loved by God. But overlooked by nearly. Thank you for blog post.
ReplyDelete@Samantha - New York
We have very few friends in this life. Rest of the people will always try to pull you down by their words or actions. So, it’s your choice how you will react. You can take things personally, get all worked up and ruin our day, or you can just ignore and carry on with your own principles.Keep in heart Safe to your friends. Madhav hats of to you for giving happiness .
ReplyDelete@Jenny Azez - New York
Transform your life to Joy and Love .Ignore bad people. This is my belief. Love and Thanx to you.
ReplyDelete@Kari - USA Hawaii
When someone makes a negative remark about you, try to remember that they are simply voicing an opinion, not a fact, and also that they are forming that opinion on very limited information. Enjoyed your all articles.
ReplyDelete@Eva Rea - Miami , USA
Some people are aware but unwilling to change because they think they are always right and never wrong. So better not to give them weighting. Your writing skill is nice.
ReplyDelete@Lucia - Toronto
In working place , Toxic people often criticize and judge every person they come across by always pointing out their flaws, and they give the impression that nobody is good enough for them because they have a negative attitude towards new people and an inflated sense of self-worth without having something to back this up. They see themselves as far superior to others and everything revolves around what they like and don’t like.
ReplyDelete@DianeFanelli - Los Angeles
Admit it Look inward to identify all the toxic behaviors in self and start eliminating them. Engage in self-improvement activities and be proactive in protecting yourself against toxic behaviors and thoughts. Fabulous blog posts.
ReplyDelete@Lee Min - Dallas
Criticism have not lived in your skin. There are so many things they do not know about you and your situation. Love and ignorance is the solution. Thank you for giving me opportunity to opinion .
ReplyDelete@Jure - Florida
I could get really negative with the ocean because it rolled in to shore and washed away my message in the sand. But the ocean is what it is and it does what it does and my opinion of it matters not in the least to the ocean.
ReplyDeleteThank you .
@Melanie - Pennsylvania
Mutual respect is the key here. It will not only help us build better relationships but also ensure that don't feel depressed when we cannot change somebody else's opinions. Don't try to combat this particular problem, accept it.
ReplyDelete@Margaret -Ohio
Accept that people are different from you. Respect yourself enough not to be overwhelmed by your own emotions.Excellent !!!
ReplyDelete@Jocelyn - California
Don’t take life to seriously, but at same time take what you do daily seriously. Humans have a lot time of their hands, and when tend to do foolish things to kill it. If it what others say ask them questions and try understand their though process. We might find out something that could help us with how are feeling. Thank you Madhav for wonderful posts.
ReplyDelete@Berkeley - Chicago
Like yourself do right things work hard. Have a wonderful life with love and joy.
ReplyDelete@Sam - Minnesota
When one doesn't think about results, and think only about one's happiness, taking things personally subsidies.Happy to know this wonderful blog.
ReplyDelete@Austin - LA
Sometimes perfecting the art of not caring really works. I've perfected it.NICEONE.
ReplyDelete@CORK - Chicago
More fundamental level, it seems that we ARE the centre of the universe that we observe. This is a subjective universe and each one has their own unique constellation of points of awareness.So there are many contradictions, seeming paradoxes, opportunities for confusion, misperception and disorientation in the labyrinth of what claims to be knowledge. Lovely blog.
ReplyDelete@Orwell - Washington
When we speak of ‘tak(ing) things personally' it usually means that, when things don't go well, we suffer perplexity or a sense of blame by ourselves or others. We suffer from putting ourselves at the centre of something that we are not well placed to understand or direct.
ReplyDelete@Saroyan -Texas
Humans are not solitary creatures. We live in society (just like many other species) and that is why approval or disapproval of others are so important to us. Therefore taking things personally is normal as a human. Don't break the head , enjoy life. @Damaris Carrillio - Peru
ReplyDeleteDeep breathing, going out for fresh air, thinking the other person is just as imperfect as you, workouts and remembering that good times and bad times just take turns are few of the helpful tools we can use. Thank you for nice blog reference to read. Writing skill and flow is awesome.
ReplyDelete@Carlos - Paris
Toxic people can be very charming and manipulative in order to get what they want. If they’re being really, really nice to you, it’s usually because they want something from you. So unless you want to allow yourself to be manipulated and used by this person, you have to separate from them.
ReplyDeleteRemember Love the people who loves you don't waste time behind those who are not. Thanx!!
@Steve Waldron - London
Self-awareness is having understanding for what you’re thinking or feeling at any given moment and what your true desires are. Wonderful blog to read. I liked it much more.
ReplyDelete@Jing - Hamamatsu , Japan
Inflated ego and easily getting offended. Individuals with an inflated ego and who easily get offended may not be able to empathize with others and are often unable to sustain relationships. Well done writer. This can be done only the person who has nice heart. You are wonderful. Thanx and blessings!!
ReplyDeletePaul Willson - Oxfordshire, United Kingdom.
Steve jobs had a beautiful saying. It goes like this: "Everything around that you call life was made up by people who were no smarter than you." Lot of Love and care to you. I am thankful to you for giving opportunity to read such a wonderful blog.
ReplyDelete@Kym - South East, England
Criticizer aren't brilliant chess masters, seeing fifty moves ahead whenever they drive you nuts. They're just disturbed. The way you “beat” them at their “game” is to walk away. You “beat” the game by refraining from playing. You “beat” it by leaving. Wonderful all posts, Thank you so much.
ReplyDelete@Lisa - Boston MA
Taking things personally is a spectrum of reactions. It's not that you choose to take things personally or don't take things personally. It's more nuanced than that. Thanx for a wonderful blog I came to know . Madhav please go on and on for your journey. I subscribed this and will refer this within our circle. Have a wonderful day!
ReplyDelete@Josephvincent- Okayama
As people mature, they become more able to use the tools lower down on the list. No matter how mature, everyone still goes through all of these stages for each unpleasant encounter.
ReplyDeleteThank you writer!
@Lam Siu Kwong - Hongkong
One day you will be the memory to some people, make sure to be a good one. It seems you are creating the memories for this world through blog. Wonderful blog!!
ReplyDelete@Harki - Kurdistan
Remember you are touching so many lives through the posts. Great go writer. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Nancy - Kyoto
Every action we take, every decision we make, is because we think we will be happier from it. It's not a coincidence that we're all looking for happiness; in our search for happiness, we are actually looking for ourselves without realizing it. so accept the love of people and try to change them with open heart coolly. All the best.
ReplyDelete@Marianna - Adelaide
When I encounter a behavior in another person that I don't like, I…Accusatory - …accuse them, either in my mind or out loud, of hurting me on purpose. Diminishing - …assume that they are not capable of acting in another way and write them off as a difficult person. Changeable - …assume that they would do it differently if only they knew how it affected me. Accepting - …accept that I don't have to like someone's behavior to respect them as a valid person and to feel OK about them and myself. Reflective - …notice that another person's behavior upset me, so I must have a personal conflict with that type of behavior. I proceed to explore my beliefs and my past to understand why I am affected by that behavior. Thank you for wonderful opportunity to read your blog Madhav.
ReplyDelete@Peter clayton - South somerset, England
People do not hurt people they love, it’s really just that simple. So don't hurt to anyone automatically no one will criticize or hurt us . This is the simple principle I am following in my life and I am happy. I enjoyed your all the posts.
ReplyDelete@Willow Pippa - Cape Town
When you take things personally, you’re emotionally hurt and offended. A wise rational statement may help you a little bit, but it’s far from enough. Taking things personally is about emotions, not logic.Excellent blog.
ReplyDelete@Ibrah - Chicago
What they’re saying is true and there’s nothing you can do about it. What they’re saying is true and you know it, because you follow the “fake it until you make it” philosophy or you are work in progress. What they’re saying is not true but you just aren’t self-confident enough.Wonderful blogger !!
ReplyDelete@Mackael - New Jersey
When you learn to accept reality as it is, you can’t take it personally anymore.Enjoy life with Smile.
ReplyDelete@Joshu Smith - Wisconsin
Sometimes the mantra “to forget is the next best thing to forgiveness” might help.I am implementing this. fabulous blog. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Amy - Arizona
Accept the harsh reality; or if there is something you can do about it, start improving. Life is valuable use it for love laugh joy care . Thank you writer.
ReplyDelete@John - California
Ease the pain, but don’t engage in a fight. If you engage in a fight with a hater, only more pain waits for you.Superb posts of this blog.
ReplyDelete@WillieCarter - Texas
Compare a critique to your improvements and have a vision stronger than any problem.Happy with the friends and the person who loves u. Thanx.
ReplyDelete@Kristin - Montreal
Make a list why you don’t agree with the statement that you’ve taken personally.You will find reason for free or worry . You are awesome .
ReplyDelete@Giselbert - Massachusetts
Never wrestle with pigs. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. George B. Shaw..... I am applying this.
ReplyDeletesimplicity is beauty of writing .
@Lance Wood - Wisconsin
Ask yourself: is your emotional response proportional to the critique? and you feel free. Awesome friend . Bless you.
ReplyDelete@Shari Lynn - USA
If somebody criticizes you, you can very quickly see it as unfair. You fight for something, you put in all the hard work, long hours and all the effort, and then some unimportant hater dares to throw mud at you and diminish your efforts. BETTER IGNORE and have joy of your life. Wonderful blog.
ReplyDelete@Mike - Tucson, AZ
Haters are a fact of life young man. We need to live life with love and happiness. I added your blog in my read . Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Christina - Virginia
It’s impossible for everybody to have a belief system where they like you and adore you.Print this in brain . You will be happiest person. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Jocelyne - Michigan
If you encounter people who are against you, that doesn’t mean that life is treating you unfairly. That only means you stood up for something important and that people with different belief systems who have poor communication skills exist and can’t express their opinion in any other way than insulting you. Nothing else. So don’t take it personally. Love
ReplyDelete@Jen - Pennsylvania
A person who is highly skilled in conflict management and interpersonal interactions will still think, “What a jerk! That guy cut me off on purpose!” Thanx for wonderful reference.
ReplyDelete@Gloria - New York
That's when a self-reflective person with high emotional intelligence will realize that they must have a personal conflict with some part of the experience they just had. People get upset when an experience triggers some past affront that hasn't been resolved. When there's nothing in your past to trigger, you can easily forget even terrible behavior. Excellent blog. Thank You Madhav.
ReplyDelete@Christine - England
Actually, there are scenarios when you can silently agree with a critic and go ahead. Don't get panic and shoot your BP . Be with the people who cares you automatically realized that you are free from burden. Thank you for wonderful blog reference.
ReplyDelete@Anun Criado - Espana , Philippines
Taking things personally just means you’re a person with a healthy emotional radar. You Feel Stuff, which is a good thing. So you don’t need to develop a “thick skin”. But you do have to understand that taking everything personally will put you at the mercy of life’s slings and arrows. It will make you play small. Is that what you really want?
ReplyDeleteYou are a very good soul and doing your job well. Be happy all the best.
@Jessica Barker - Tennessee, USA
Keep critics in their place; don’t make them bigger than they are. And, if they do matter to you, don’t be too quick to react. Listen — and try to understand their perspective. Be a lovable human being. Thank you for reference of nice blog to read. @Sarah Knox - Nova Scotia
ReplyDelete“When they go low, we go high.” — Michelle Obama
ReplyDeleteMichelle Obama popularized this slogan, offering restraint as an antidote to criticism. She later explained it was not about banishing hurt feelings, but about not allowing yourself to stoop to an angry or low level response, to maintain your dignity in the face of challenge. Allow me to add this great lady thoughts. Thank you for nice read referred.
@Emilie Leneveu - Canada
Ignore anyone who judges you based on your looks, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, any points of difference, personality and relationships. That’s none of their business. Smile and think this: if they’re making it personal, they can’t have anything substantial to say. Wonderful blog referred. Thank you writer.
ReplyDelete@Damien Deville - Paris - Bobo Dioulasso
There is great power in realising the way a person speaks about or acts towards about others is utterly revealing of who they are. In their comments, posts, tweets, behaviour — or acts of meanness — they are telling you about their history, their belief systems, their character, their emotional game, the often narrow way they view the world. They’re standing before you — Naked. Excellent , keep going on. @Samuel Tabitha - Italy
ReplyDeleteWhen you are upset or angry it’s easy to assume you know what the other person meant. It’s also possible you have it completely wrong. Stay neutral: allow another person’s opinions to be theirs — and theirs alone. You don’t have to do anything with them. I enjoyed your blog posts. Thank You!!!
ReplyDelete@Karen - Paris
Feedback is not always negative. And, even if it is, it can contain things that can help us, particularly around our work. If you’ve had some feedback that’s hard to take, sit with it a while and — when you’re ready — unpack it and see what you can learn. @McCarthy - Connecticut, United States
ReplyDeleteIn this world there are three category of people.
ReplyDelete1. Nuetral
2. Love you due to Selfishness ( it is not Love actually but they are thinking like that )
3. Love you selflessly . (They will never hurt you even though you hurt them. You are whole world for them and they will try to keep you as if you are their lifeline )
Friend i always respect first and third category as firstone is not harmful to you and third one is the gift from GOD to you so keep them alive don't hurt them and if they tell you which is you are taking as critics then you are wrong. Listen it carefully.
This is my philosophy but most relevant and beneficial to me.
You are awesome writer no show off and everything is plain in writing. i loved this . Thank you so much for giving such a nice blog. Blessings!!!
@Janet Hill - Saskatchewan, Canada
If you are going to do anything worthwhile at all, the critics will come for you. But they’ll only win if you hand them the power to do so. This blog posts are WONDERLAND . Thank you!!!
ReplyDelete@Vickie Schneider - Milan
A splendid job! It's always personal, whether you are willing to admit it or not. When you feel snubbed, hurt, forgotten, attacked, ignored, cheated, or whatever, those are your personal feelings from the past that have been triggered by some behavior in the present. Thank you
ReplyDelete@Annie Andre - Finland
Taking things personally is when a person could have other(interpretations) of something another person would shrug or laugh off. Instead you get a mad(strong overreaction). Majestic thoughts of this blog , Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Marisol - Japan
Taking things personally is something we all do. After all, we are all the centre of our own universe, the protagonist of our own story. If someone says something, and it applies to me, that means it's about me, right? Well no. Your blog style has spark.
ReplyDelete@Fumuko - Paris
You've made my day. Taking things personally just means taking a general and, often times, innocuous comment (perceived as negative) and applying it to yourself. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Brandon - Vietnam
We’re probably doing the same to other people, just in a subtler and more civilized way. wonderful blog. @ Sioman Shaw - Paris
ReplyDeleteThere is a level above not agreeing with people in a respectful manner and trying to change them – accepting people as they are. I practice that a lot. You are really in touch with the feeling in blog.
ReplyDelete@Samual - Italy
We are social beings. As such we need to belong. We can’t survive alone. We can’t succeed alone. You are awesome blogger thanx a lot.
ReplyDelete@Jinni- Paris
Usually the only obstacle preventing you from finding the right fit for yourself in different social groups is laziness, fear and a desire to stay in the comfort zone. Don’t hope for others to change.Wonderful !!!
ReplyDelete@Jordan - California
Find people where mutual respect is present and where you can shine.Respect , Love , Smile plinth of happy life. If you got such person/people keep them near to your soul. Awesome blog tour. Thank you for reference. Love.
ReplyDelete@Diana - Maryland
You’re the one choosing your key relationships in life. So choose them wisely. Don’t spend time with people who don’t support you, believe you and encourage you to become the best version of yourself. Blessings for your smile. Thank you for reference.
ReplyDelete@Betty - Washington
Source of taking things personally are unrealistic expectations, especially regarding relationships. In life, you must never go against markets or human nature. Enjoy life as is. Thank you for Mind blowing blog.
ReplyDelete@Remy - Florida
There is no perfect individual and there is no perfect relationship. People lie, people cheat, they try to control you and manipulate you. Usually they hurt you because they themselves are hurt or afraid. Life is joy .. enjoy it.
ReplyDelete@Mandy R - California
People you like, people you love and work with will do that to you. Many awesome read in your blog.
ReplyDelete@Emmanuel - USA
You have to accept your flaws and learn to love yourself the way you are, where you have no power to change things or to improve. excellent !!
ReplyDelete@Florin - Mississippi
If a critique is justified and it hurts you, ask for clarification and make a battle plan for how you will improve yourself. Keep the growth mindset no matter how harsh the critique is. You can and will improve. Happy to read posts. Thank you
ReplyDelete@Julia - Mississippi
Have realistic expectations towards people. We may be civilized animals, but deep down we are still nothing but animals. Sooner or later, the people you love will hurt you and you will hurt others. This i always remember. Thank you for reference .
ReplyDelete@Suzy Starnes -Oklahoma
In most cases, completely ignore the evil people. Don’t think about the evil people, don’t talk to them or write to them. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Shahin - California
Respect other people. Only give constructive criticism and share your positive ideas with others. I like your blog Madhav. I will wait for next.
ReplyDelete@Allison Cri - New Hampshire, USA
LOVE LIFE NO PLACE FOR CRITICS TO SELF OR OTHERS. wonderful fairy of your blog. Thank you.
ReplyDelete@Ting - New Hampshire
There are only HAPPY people, and MISERABLE people. Being happy and being miserable is ultimately a result of the THOUGHTS that you allow into your head, and the level of consciousness you have about yourself. If you allow negative thoughts to freely take over your mind and you actually indulge in these thoughts, then of course you will be an unhappy person, and it will be reflected in your external lifestyle AND how you treat others. Choose to entertain positive, empowering thoughts only, and it will change your world and relationships. Thank you for such a nice blog have referred.
ReplyDelete@Kennedy- Las Bonitas
Just remember one thing that every human is unique in there own way some one saying must not affect you. Loving for self to give yourself what you need so you can in turn give to others from a healthier , rather than depleting place. Great Share !!! Thank you.
ReplyDelete